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December 5th

posted Dec 4, 2018, 2:39 PM by Mike Costello   [ updated Dec 4, 2018, 2:40 PM ]

Learning Target:
What: I can evaluate situations to determine if there is healthy consent.
How: By completing the Healthy or Not activity with a partner.
Why: So that I can choose healthy behaviors for myself and support others in healthy relationships.

It’s always a good idea to queue a video and set the sound beforehand, so it’s ready to go.

Today we’re talking about another important relationship topic: sexual consent.  You might remember last month when we talked about Healthy Relationships.  Consent is one part of a healthy relationship. It includes almost all of the parts of a healthy relationship we looked at last time like honesty, physical safety, respect, comfort, sexual respect, and independence.

To start talking about consent, we’re going to get a basic definition of consent:

You can read or have a student read the information on the slide.

Consent is an agreement between people before they engage in any seuxal activity and both people must say “yes”.

We’re going to take a look at five elements of consent, using an acronym, FRIES:
F reely Given

R eversible

I nformed

E nthusiastic

S pecific

Freely Given means when it comes to sex, you should only do stuff you WANT to do, not things that you feel you’re pressured into doing.

Reversible means that anyone can change their mind about what they feel like doing, any time. Even if you’ve done it before, and even if you’re both naked in bed.

Informed means that you can only consent to something if you have the full story. For example, if someone says they’ll use a condom and then they don’t, there isn’t full consent.

When it comes to sex, enthusiastic means you should only do things you’re excited to do, not things that you’re uncertain about.

Specific means that saying yes to one thing (like going to the bedroom to make out) doesn’t mean you’ve said yes to others (like having sex).

So the FRIES acronym helps us to understand five important parts of consent.

Next we’re going to take a look at a video that explains it another way that might make it easier to understand.  In this video, the teens are from the U.K., so they have accents and use words a little differently than we do here.  Just a heads up about that.

Play the Rise Above video.

Hopefully hearing those teens talk about using a cell phone, helps you better understand how we can talk about sexual consent.

So, we’ve got an understanding of what consent is.  It’s also important to understand why it’s important to understand consent.

There are two basic ways to answer those questions.  The first is so that we understand legal consequences.  

You can read or have a student read the information on the slide.

The second reason it’s important to understand consent is so that we understand personal consequences.

We’ve talked a lot about sexual consent.  Now you’re going to have an opportunity to apply what you’ve learned.

You’re going to work with a partner to read through different scenarios.  On the right side of the paper is a column where you write an H for healthy or you write a U for unhealthy, which could also mean non-consensual.

Hand out the Healthy or Not worksheets.

At the end of reading the scenario, there’s a question for you to talk about with your partner.  

There are only three scenarios, so you’ll have
multiple sets of partners working on the same scenario.  

You could mention this to student if partners are having trouble
(they could check with another partner set that has the same scenario).

You could have partners work together, then all the partners with the same scenario
get into a group to compare answers and discuss.

As groups work, circulate the room to check on their progress.  
Address incorrect responses, by asking guiding questions.

Sexual Consent FAQs

Q: I thought the age of consent in Oregon is 15.

A: There has been some confusion about this by many, including health teachers.  Oregon law states 18 is the age of consent. See: ORS 163.315

Q: What about the “Romeo and Juliet Law”?

A: Several states have some version of this.  Oregon law states that a defense can be made in a case when someone was under 18, as long as that person is at least 15 years old, and there is no more than a three-year age gap.  So there isn’t a “Romeo and Juliet Law” in Oregon, but our law says that can be used as a defense in court cases (which means the person was already charged with a crime).

Q: What is statutory rape?

A: A statute is a law, so statutory rape is a rape as a result of something outlined in a law.  Oregon does not actually use the terminology, “statutory rape”, but instead, “contributing to the sexual delinquency of a minor”.  So the idea is still there, we just use a bit little different language in Oregon. Statutory Rape involves a legal adult (someone 18 or older) and a minor (someone under the age of 18).  This occurs when a minor may have said yes to some kind of sexual activity with someone 18 or older, but our law states that a minor is not legally able to give consent.

Q: What happens to someone convicted of statutory rape (contributing to the sexual delinquency of a minor)?

A: This is going to depend on the specifics of the case, but it could result in being labeled a sex offender.  That is a lifelong consequence which can include things like being put on a registry, having your home available on maps of sex offenders, not being able to be alone with children, not being able to go within 100 feet of places like parks, community centers, and schools, court-ordered rehab or therapy, etc.

Q: Teenagers having sex isn’t a big deal.  Nothing’s going to happen, right?
A: That depends on a lot of factors.  Oregon law says anyone under 18 cannot consent to having sex.  So if someone changes their mind afterward, like after a breakup, or if parents/guardians find out and aren’t ok with it, there could be consequences.  There’s even one school district in Oregon that has instructed staff to file a report when they hear of teenagers having sex since it is illegal.

Q: Are there other times someone can’t consent?

A: ORS 163.315 Incapacity to consent; effect of lack of resistance. (1) A person is considered incapable of consenting to a sexual act if the person is:

  (a) Under 18 years of age;

  (b) Mentally defective;

  (c) Mentally incapacitated; or

  (d) Physically helpless.

  (2) A lack of verbal or physical resistance does not, by itself, constitute consent but may be considered by the trier of fact along with all other relevant evidence.

Q: What if two people talked about consent, and then started using drugs or alcohol?

A: This could still be considered nonconsensual.  It could be charged as sexual assault or rape. Any time drugs or alcohol are used, bodies and brains are affected.